Author: Autumn
•4/10/2011 11:38:00 PM
One of the great things I love about music is that sometimes you hear lyrics that make you yell out "Yes! That is exactly how I feel." or "That is exactly what I believe. Thank you for putting it more eloquently than I ever could." This happens to me quite a lot, especially as I listen to a lot of musicals, and there is almost always a story behind those songs.

A lot of my favorite moments like those have been with lyrics written by Stephen Sondheim. I love everything he has done that I have heard so far. I have simple tastes; I am not cultured enough to understand the complexities of what he writes. All I know is whether or not I love how it sounds and what the words say. And with him, I do love it. I recently got my hands on an album of his called Sondheim on Sondheim, which is from a small revue show that ran for three months on Broadway in 2010. The show goes through his songs, some famous and some that did not make it into the final versions, and in between are recordings of Sondheim talking about his life and about the shows.

My "Yes!" moment this time actually happened during one of the spoken segments of the CD. He said:
My first serious relationship occurred when I was 60 years old, when I fell in love. And I think it didn't happen until then because I wasn't open for it; I wasn't ready for it. I was brought up as an only child; I enjoyed being an only child. I enjoyed being alone; I still enjoy often being alone. But I think I had gotten in the habit of it, and when I met somebody the habit got broken.
Other than the part about being an only child, I could see myself saying this in 30 years. I have never been in love. I have never even come close, and sometimes I do not think I ever will. It does not feel like me. The idea that someone else will always be there has never sit comfortably with me. I truly enjoy/prefer spending a good portion of my time alone. Not all, I do need my people time, but often.

I fear I am not explaining myself very well. My point is that often I let myself get caught up in measuring my life by other people's time lines, even though it doesn't match what I want. I am 26 and based on the culture I grew up in I should be married with 1-2 babies by now, right? No! Because I am not ready for it yet! I might not be for several more decades. And if that works for me, then who cares? This has been in my head ever since my first listen of that CD, and now it is OFF MY CHEST. Mission accomplished.
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On April 11, 2011 at 8:39 AM , Becky Jean said...

Amen sister. :) I totally agree!

On April 11, 2011 at 7:59 PM , Anonymous said...

NOBODY should be married at 26 with one or two kids. Of course, unless that's what they really truly want.

Good for you for rejecting society's B.S. and living life on your own terms!